Bedok Reservoir suicides: Killing oneself is not an answer!!

A further continuation of this post, "Bedok Reservoir dead bodies due to suicide?".

Suicide is a sin. Life may be very harsh to you, but to give up by taking an easy exit should never be an option.

On the other hand, I find this particular song, "Suicide" by Rihanna to be somewhat suitable for this tragedy:
loving you is suicide
i don't know should go or should i stay
i'm tryna to keep myself alive
knowing there's a chance it's all too late
but i heard you say you love me
that's the part i can't forget
and i wish that you come save me
cos i'm standing over the edge

i should let you go
tell myself the things i need to hear
but my brain is why you're wrong
that's why i'm loving you when you're not here
feels like i drown in your every word
and every breath that's in between
somehow you got me where it really hurts
it's killing every part of me

Rest in peace, Mdm Tan Sze Sze and her son, Jerald Chin Le Hui. Do not be vengeful ghosts.

Over the past year, Madam Tan Sze Sze, 31, had become increasingly short-tempered and irritable. She was fiercely protective of her only child, a three-year-old boy, and spent most of her time looking after him.

At one point, she told her mother that life had become too much of a torture.

Madam Tan had frequent fights with her estranged husband over his access to their son.

Her husband sometimes called in the police and applied for a court order to give him access to the boy on weekends, said Madam Tan's family.

The former secretary was found floating face down in Bedok Reservoir yesterday morning. She was holding on to her son, Jerald Chin Le Hui.Her sister, Ms Celeste Tan, 30, said Madam Tan had been suffering from depression for the past year, but she simply refused to seek help.

On Sunday, some men came knocking at their flat in French Road in the Lavender area, Ms Tan said in Mandarin.

When they identified themselves as policemen, Madam Tan grabbed Le Hui and crouched in a corner, repeatedly saying that she was afraid.

"The men said that if my sister did not comply with the court order, she would be fined. If she could not pay the fine, she might have to go to jail and the punishment would be heavier the next time."

Ms Tan said her sister had once allowed her husband to take Le Hui home sometime last year. But Le Hui, then two, came back with a bleeding nose.

Madam Tan's husband told her that it was an accident, and that it was just a bit of torn skin. But his nose did not stop bleeding for two days and he cried constantly.

After that, Madam Tan refused to let Le Hui go with his father. He was only allowed to see his father in the vicinity of their home in the presence of Ms Tan or her mother.

Things turned ugly when he threatened them with a lawsuit, Ms Tan said.

Madam Tan's mother, Mrs Tan Geok Lai, 53, claimed he would kick up a fuss at their home. She admitted to yelling at him to go away.

She said the couple had got married in 2006 after about two years of courtship, but did not live together for most of their marriage.

Not long after registering their marriage, their relationship became strained when Madam Tan found a condom in his car. When she asked him about it, he said that it belonged to his friend.

While they were renting a flat in Ang Mo Kio, Madam Tan became pregnant.

But the couple returned to their respective parents' homes before Le Hui was born.

Madam Tan's family believes that her death may be linked to her fear of going to jail over her refusal to let her husband take Le Hui home.

Said Ms Tan: "She loves Le Hui a lot. She is an introvert and does not have any friends. He is all she has.

"What if she lets Le Hui go over and he returns with bruises or cuts? The first time it happened, she couldn't stop crying."

Despite all that happened, Madam Tan refused to divorce her husband even after her family advised her to grant his request for a divorce, said Ms Tan.

Said Ms Tan: "My sister is very loyal and I guess she really did love him a lot."

Madam Tan and Le Hui were dressed in red tops when their bodies were found. Their fingernails were also painted red.

Ms Tan said she saw a red thread around her sister's wrist when she identified their bodies yesterday afternoon.

Dressed in red
It is a Chinese belief that when someone dressed in red kills herself, the person's spirit will return as a vengeful ghost.

A police spokesman said they were alerted to the two bodies at around 6.50am. At 7.15am, a paramedic pronounced them dead at the scene.

The police have classified the deaths as unnatural and are investigating.

Madam Tan and Le Hui visited Mrs Tan at her workplace in Clementi Central on Tuesday morning, just before they went missing.

Mrs Tan said in Mandarin: "She and Le Hui were both wearing red. Ah Sze looked very pained, very hurt.

"She told me that she was going to leave this world and I told her not to."

The pair left soon after, at about 10am. Mrs Tan tried contacting her daughter a few minutes later but her mobile phone was switched off.

At 2.30pm, Mrs Tan finally reached her. In their last conversation, Mrs Tan tried in vain to dissuade her daughter.

Said a stoic Mrs Tan: "I told her not to be silly. But she told me 'Do you think that I am so bored that I will joke about this? I will definitely die today'."

"I asked her to come and have lunch with me but she said that this was the last time I would hear her voice. If I didn't let her talk, I wouldn't be able to hear her voice again.

"I heard water and asked where she was but she refused to tell me."

Madam Tan reminded her mother that it was the 23rd day of the month in the Chinese calendar.

When she previously talked about killing herself, Madam Tan always said that she wanted to die on the 23rd as that was the day that her grandmother and father died.

When Madam Tan passed the phone over to her son, Le Hui told his grandmother: "Ah Ma, Mummy is very noisy. She keeps crying."

The call was cut and Mrs Tan couldn't reach her elder daughter again despite several attempts. She later found Madam Tan's set of housekeys in Mrs Tan's letterbox and feared the worst.

She said: "Ah Sze always said that because she brought Le Hui into this world, she must bring him along when she leaves this world too."

Ms Tan made a missing persons' report that day and cried herself to sleep, knowing that her sister wouldn't be coming home again.

Whenever she spoke about killing herself, Madam Tan would say that she would rather drown than jump off a building.

On Wednesday night, Mrs Tan headed out with Ms Tan and her son-in-law to nearby West Coast Park as they thought she might have gone there.

They called out to Madam Tan in tears, but there was no sign of her or Le Hui.

The next morning, their bodies were spotted by a passer-by at Bedok Reservoir. Mrs Tan suspects that Madam Tan chose that location as they had lived in Bedok seven years ago before moving to French Road.

Said Mrs Tan: "I feel like I am in a dream. But in her letter, she said that she was going to look for her father.

"If she can be happier in the other world, then I should just let her go."

In the same handwritten letter, Madam Tan thanked her mother for taking good care of her and her son, and told her to take good care of herself.

Today, Ms Tan turns 30, and next Friday, Madam Tan would have turned 32.

But there will be no birthday celebrations this year.

Madam Tan and Le Hui's wake will be held at French Road from today till the funeral on Sunday.

From Asiaone, "'Mummy keeps crying'".

A bitter custody battle continued after a tragic death Friday when the wake of a mother and son whose bodies were found in Bedok Reservoir was disrupted by angry family members who tried to drag the woman's estranged husband from a van and block his escape.

Police later arrested one of her relatives when they went to the husband's house to confront him.

Tan Sze Sze, 32, and her three-year-old son Jerald Chin were found dead on Thursday morning by officers from national water agency PUB. They were reported missing two days before.

Angry family members set upon her husband Willy Chin, 33, when he arrived at the wake to pay his respects.

Tan's mother and younger sister, who were waiting by the road, wrenched open the door of the van in which he was a passenger and tried to pull him out. Throughout, they hurled vulgarities at him and accused him of causing the deaths.

Chin managed to break free and close the door but a few family members chased after the van while Tan's mother tried to block its path.

After 10 minutes, it managed to leave the area. Police were also called to the scene by passers-by.

But the family did not let the matter rest. Tan's mother, sister, the latter's husband and two other relatives decided to confront Chin at his Jalan Bukit Merah house.

They created a scene when they did not get to see him. Police later arrested the sister's husband when he refused to leave.

Tan's mother, Teo Guek Lai, told reporters her daughter had become increasingly upset after becoming embroiled in a bitter custody battle with her estranged husband. She also feared her son would be taken from her after she was fined for not allowing Chin access to Jerald.

“Her son was her life,” Teo said.

The day she went missing, Tan told her mother she planned to kill herself and take her son with her. She was later found cradling the boy, their bodies joined at the wrists by red string. They were wearing red T-shirts and their fingernails were painted red, a customary Chinese symbol of revenge after death.

Earlier, Chin gave reporters his side of the story at his home in Bukit Merah.

“I didn't do anything wrong. From start to finish, I just wanted to see my son. If she had just allowed me to take my son out on weekends, I wouldn't have had to pressure her by going to court,” he said.

He added that he went to her flat every weekend in the past year to try to see his son, but largely to no avail.

Chin, a restaurant chef, last saw the boy in February. Tan's sister brought Jerald down to see him for half an hour.

Looking tired and distressed, he added that when he first heard the news of his wife and son from the police, he was at a total loss.

On Friday morning, Tan's family went to Bedok Reservoir to carry out prayers and rituals.

Mother and son were later laid side by side in matching white coffins. Jerald's was covered with stickers of animals and adorned with some colorful balloons - some of his favorite playthings.

Toys selected by his nine-year-old cousin Shawn, whom he was close to, were also placed beside him in the casket.

“He always played with me... I miss him,” said Shawn.

From Jakarta Globe, "Anger at Wake for Mother and Son Found Dead in S'pore Reservoir".


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